Breaking The Failure Belief Pattern
If you tried something a thousand times and failed every single time, it’s easy to think of yourself as a failure.
Many people don’t even need to “fail” that much - three or four times trying something new is enough for most people to conclude themselves a loser.
The problem with this thinking is it links your self worth (an internal state) with an outcome (an external event). As if you have such control over the world!
There are many instances where you do everything right and it won’t work out. Further, you may have done the best you could but, for whatever reason, it wasn’t enough under the current conditions.
From my view, doing the best you can is a success every time. Worse would be doing it half-assed and reaching some external goal, because it would reinforce such behavior.
Regardless, if you could look at each failed attempt not as a failure, but as an event that brings you one step closer to success, you’d be hard pressed to ever feel like a loser.
Another perspective - each attempt creates some sort of by product.
I have clients who have tried time and again to create info products and never get them finished. They have one over here 10% done, another over there 40% done, a few half done and few more quarter dones.
Then one day they get an ah-ha that leads them to stitch together all these unfinished assets and what results is an info product better than any other that exists on the market. There would be no other way to be this successful if it wasn’t for all the shortcomings that led to it.
Every attempt is an accrual of experience. I have low tolerance for people who come to me and feel like losers. I don’t like it because if I give them a winning plan, their loser identity will find a way to mess it up. So when I work with clients, I help break their failure-thinking patterns as much as I teach technique on what to do in the business.
In fact, often I rarely have to teach technique if I can remove a significant limiting belief. When you unlimit someone they naturally start operating at a higher level.